Random Thoughts

Can't Seem To Do It Anymore

2010-07-04T14:47:00.000-07:00

I have great thoughts about blogging. I write whole posts in my head while showering or shopping or cleaning, but when I sit at the computer, I get caught up in the timesucks that are Facebook and Ravelry.

I want to blog though. Do you still want me to? Because if you do, I would consider doing it for you.

I moved to Tucson a year and a week ago. A year ago next week, I lost my job. I'm still looking for work and get depressed about it pretty frequently.

In the meantime, I also managed to sneak a trip to Vegas in January. We got married. Shhhh... I haven't sent out the announcements yet. They're ready. They're sitting on my desk. I just don't have the money to pay for postage.

Not a lot else has happened, though to be fair those are two pretty major things. Perhaps one day I'll write more about them. And show pictures. If you're still interested...

Hello? Hello?

2010-05-21T13:46:00.000-07:00

Is this thing still on?

Anyone interested in playing anymore?

If You Must Know...

2009-07-15T15:17:00.000-07:00

The details (more or less) of what's been happening the last few months can be found here:

http://www.oregonlive.com/O/index.ssf/2009/07/hitched.html

and pictures of the great escape can be found here:

http://photos.oregonlive.com/oregonian/2009/07/hitched.html

Now--any chance I'll start posting regularly again? I dunno... you'll just have to stay tuned.

Is No News Really Good News?

2009-04-21T10:20:00.000-07:00

Had an interview on Wednesday last week that I thought went fabulously well. Now it's Tuesday morning and I haven't heard from them yet. I'm curious if that's a good sign... I hope so. I want this new job.

In all fairness, when I went into the interview, all I really wanted was an OFFER of a new job so I could bring it back to work and ask if I could telecommute from Tucson instead. But this place--OH.MY.GOSH! It's the coolest place ever. If/when I get the job, I'll tell you all about it.

In the meantime, I'm going back to Tucson on Thursday May 7th for the weekend. I'm lining up a few more interveiws for Friday, including one at the school I've found for Emily, and I'm going to try to find a small furnished place to let through the end of July (yeah, not the first like I originally thought) when our house is vacant and ready for us to move in (there are potential pitfalls there, so cross fingers it happens the way we want).

Nothing else to post about. Just a status update. Working on pulling it all together.

Get Back To Where You Once Belonged

2009-04-15T08:25:00.000-07:00

I've been in Tucson since Saturday afternoon. I'll be here until this Saturday. The week is half over and it's going far too fast.

My job interview Monday morning was wonderful. I have a second (for the same job) today at 3:00.

David and I went to Home Depot earlier this week to pick out new stuff. We found our washer/dryer set, a refrigerator we both like, a new range & oven, and even talked about a dishwasher, though that's not a priority just yet. Oh, also paint colors and tile for the outside of the house.

Now we're goofing around in Photoshop to see how it all pulls together.

The tenant in his house has until July 1 to exercise his purchase option (and we mean finished with escrow by July 1), or vacate. I'm kind of hoping he vacates. I don't want to be a renter.

I'm not sure what else to say. It's prettier here than I remembered and I'm having a marvelous week. I'm looking forward to being here.

New Toy!

2009-04-06T19:15:00.000-07:00

I moved from one Verizon phone plan to another (yes, that is shameless promotion--I love Verizon and I will give them free plugs anytime).

As a result of that move, I got to pick out a new phone.

Ooh, Shiney!

Oh--and hey, check this out--it also has fabulous texting functions!

Countdown

2009-04-01T22:05:00.000-07:00

Leaving for 8 days and 7 nights in Tucson on April 11th. Very, very early in the morning. I'm ready to go right now. I've decided Tom Petty is right--the waiting is the hardest part.

Also, I have a job interview lined up for the week I'm there. Gonna try to arrange more than just the one. Keep good thoughts for that...

I'll try to post soon. Maybe.

The Truth of Where I've Been

2009-03-23T21:30:00.000-07:00

So here’s the thing—I met this guy, see, and he has swept me off my feet. You know how you can prepare your favorite meal exactly the same way every time and totally enjoy it every single time, but then someone comes along and adds just the subtlest change and you suddenly realize that where it was great before it’s PERFECT now?

Yeah, well, it’s sorta like that. Only better.

Here I was, loving my town of Portland, loving Emily’s school, loving our household dynamic, loving my job (finally!), moving through my life with love and happiness and joy (less the winter illnesses, but in the big picture those don’t count), and suddenly I’ve added awe and wonder and a different kind of love to the picture. Where before I didn’t know anything was missing, now I am whole. I’m not sure how to describe the feeling other than as fulfilling. It’s like “Oh, there you are! So that’s what’s been missing all this time!”

And oh.my.god. It is Fucking Fabulous!

I love language. Yeah, you already knew that. I love words and their meanings and subtleties. You probably already know that the name Aimee means “beloved”. Do you know that there’s also a male name that means beloved? There is. His name is David. Do I need to state the obvious correlation here? We are each other’s beloved.

But you know there’s a catch, don’t you? Because if there wasn’t, I would have written about it months ago, when it first started, right? You’d have been privy to the disgustingly sweet details from the beginning if there wasn’t a catch, wouldn’t you have?

Of course.

In fact, let’s not do anything simply, shall we? Let’s say instead that rather than “a” catch there are perhaps a few catches… Nothing simple for Aimee. Apparently the universe believes I need steeper learning curves than most people. It’s cool. I can take it. (Or at least that’s what I say out loud when I’m not weeping into my oatmeal.)

Last Thursday was the 27th year anniversary of the first time we kissed. He was my high school boyfriend. I loved him then, too, but without the sense—crap, without the sense god gave a fucking goose. We were stupid and young (and stupid) and in WAY over our heads with each other. Shortly after I moved from Tucson to California in the middle of my Jr. year of high school, David broke up with me. On the phone. That was 25 years ago though, so the details are irrelevant.

Except for this part: After he dumped me, he dated another young woman from high school, one of our classmates. And 16 months after I moved to California, he married her. And he recently left his marriage. And she just found out that I’m his new girlfriend. And it’s not pretty.

Oh yeah, there’s also this—I’m going to spend a week with him in April (mostly to make sure everything is really as great as we think it is), and shortly thereafter I’ll probably be moving again. This time to Tucson.

This Pacific Northwest flower, this rain-blossom, this see-through white girl is contemplating moving to the desert. And NOW you know how serious I am about this beloved, because I can’t imagine ANYONE else in the world enticing me to the climate of Arizona (weather and political).

And that, my friends, is why you haven’t heard from me for so long. I’ll try to do better, but for at least the time being, your time has been usurped by him. And I’m not even sorry. ((grin))

Conversation

2009-02-17T16:00:00.000-08:00

I want a haircut. I asked my sister if she would do that for me tonight. This is part of the conversation that ensued:

Me: Make me beautiful, Kate.

Kate: I'll try. No guarantee.

Me: Shit. Tall order, huh?

Kate: Well, I can't make you tall.

Me: HAHAHAHAHA! Fuck off.

(I wonder if I'll get my haircut now?)

UPDATED:

I got my haircut afterall...

A floor full of curls

and my CUTE new Do!

It's About Time

2009-02-05T21:06:00.000-08:00

Back in October of '07--back when my dad didn't die--while I was preparing his room in our house, I broke the stem of my watch. It was stupid, really. I was making up a bed for him and I just snagged the stem of my watch and it broke right off.

Not that big a deal, really. During daylight savings (or during Not-daylight savings, whichever, I can never remember), I just added (or maybe subtracted) an hour, every time saying to myself, "I really need to get my watch fixed."

After many, many months of that sort of inaction, the battery finally died.

I went to have it replaced only to realize--duh--that even if I got the battery replaced, there was no way to re-set it to the correct time. So unless I was willing to insert the new battery at EXACTLY the right time, or unless I was willing to do math more complicated than plus or minus one hour, I was going to have a hell of a time with my old watch.

It would be nice to say I did the reasonable, responsible thing and got off my ass and had my watch fixed. But at this point, it's been so long I sorta hate to put any MORE energy into it, ya know? Besides, I really can't afford it.

Yeah...

So I did the only other thing that seemed (somewhat) reasonable, if wholly irresponsible, under the circumstances. I relied on credit. I got myself a new watch.

(It's pretty, don'tcha think?)

6th Time!

2009-02-01T20:14:00.000-08:00

Hey, did you see?

My boys--they pulled it out for me at the last minute.

I was actually a little nervous there, right up to about the last 50 seconds of the game... but the Steelers, they came through.

I knew they would.

(Shut up, I'm not sweatin'. I knew they'd do it.)

Ick

2009-01-31T10:35:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning with an earache that extends into my jaw. My throat is sore, my nose is stuffy, my head hurts, and I'm generally miserable.

I think I may go back to bed soon.

Pictures from the second half of January will have to wait.

Happiness

2009-01-29T10:55:00.003-08:00

The CFO just called me from Ohio. He wanted to talk about 3 things…he wanted to pick my brain about these issues and get my professional opinion on where to go from here.

The Executive Vice President and CFO came to me for advice and then agreed with my conclusions.

Oh yeah, and I should watch my inbox for another agreement (118 pages) that he’ll need my input on.

Thanks.

I love my job!

Shortest Phone Call Ever

2009-01-21T14:55:00.000-08:00

Me: “Hello?”

Em: “Mommy, What’s… um. Oh I forgot what it’s called already. Oh! Mommy?

Me: “Yes, Em?”

Em: “Am I a Sagittarius?”

Me: “Yes you are.”

Em: “Oh, ok. Love you. Bye bye.” (click)

Hmph, that was weird.

The Drawbacks of Cost Cutting

2009-01-21T07:50:00.000-08:00

Our garbage is only picked up from our desks once a week now. It's a cost-cutting measure.

I get it, I really do, and I'm fine with it because I don't fill up my garbage can in a day anyway.

But the smell of the empty microwave popcorn bag from yesterday is making me a little bit nauseated.

Ugh.

Parking Lot Scene

2009-01-19T17:48:00.000-08:00

Emily and I went to the bookstore yesterday to spend our Christmas Gift Cards. As we stagged out into the UNREAL winds, laden down with a gazillion books, I realized I forgot where we parked. I had a general idea, but not an exact memory.

So I asked Emily, "Hey, do you remember where the car is?"

She said, in her perkiest little voice, "Yeah!"

Me: "Really? You know where the car is?"

Em: "Yeah!"

Me: "Oh, good. Can you tell me where?"

Em: "Yeah!"

Me: "Shit, Dude, where's the fucking car?"

Em (barely stifled giggle): "In the parking lot!"

Me (laughing): "Gah. You're such a smart ass."

(The mom walking past us didn't laugh nearly as hard as Em and I did!)

Emotional Train Wreck

2009-01-16T17:45:00.000-08:00

So I’ve a ton of stuff going on at the office this week and I think I’ve just hit the place where I’m officially cracked.

I started my drive home talking to a friend, which was cool because the traffic was HORRIBLE and I enjoyed the conversation, but it ended up being a short call, so there’s no excuse for what followed other than to say maybe I was just too far in my head. I dunno.

Obviously there are only so many bridges that cross the river, and I’ve driven this route hundreds and hundreds of times, but today I missed the turn for my bridge. I figured I’d hop on the next one, except that there was no entrance from the road I was on. By the time I got across a bridge, I was WAY off track.

Not a big deal, I figured I could take it in stride because the sun was setting and so pretty and I had my favorite CD on. See there, I was trying to stay positive. So I wended my way back toward my part of town and when I got to the LAST major turn, after a full 20 extra minutes of driving in the midst of long lines of cars, I (not being accustomed to coming at this road from this direction) chose the wrong lane.

From that fuck up, it took me another full 20 minutes to get home, during which time that one song came on the CD—that one that I always skip past because it makes me think of the time my dad almost died.

And apparently that was the last straw. Because there I was, singing along, and I suddenly could not stop crying.

I feel a little better now, but I’m really looking forward to sleeping this weekend away.

You're Going to be Sorry You Asked!

2009-01-13T21:50:00.000-08:00

Oh my god, you guys, who is the slacker running this site? Sheesh! I swear life hasn’t been THAT busy; I guess I’m just a lazy sot. Yet y’all keep coming back to read. I don’t know why, but I know you do—I see you on my statcounter. Lots and lots of you, even though only 4 people leave comments. (Special Hi To The Four People Who Comment!)

Lets see… It snowed here in Portland for 21 of the 31 days of December. We in this house have decided unanimously that snow is TOTALLY overrated. One consequence of the snows and resulting house-bound-ness was that, except my mom and Storey, everyone got very, very sick. Ugh.

Alright then, that’s enough of that crap.

On Christmas day, I decided that I’m going to take a picture a day for a year to catalogue our lives. Do you know that taking a picture every single day forces a person to see just how little they do on a daily basis? Dude—this is harder than I thought it would be.

BUT—because this is my blog and I can do what-the-fuck-ever I want, I’m going to post the first 13 days of this year. AND—I might just subject you to the rest of the year in fits and starts. NaNA!

January 1:

Friends came over and we played games, put together a couple of puzzles, and ate bean soup for dinner. (I don’t know what the deal is with bean soup on New Year’s night, but whatever. It was good.)

January 2:

Took the ornaments off the tree; put them away; took down the tree. Christmas is done now.

January 3:

Emily’s home from her dad’s house. She’s so excited to be back she wants to sleep with Bai Yah (of course that only lasted until Bai Yah turned off the light, then she came down to our bed so she could “read” more—that is, play on her DS!)

January 4:

Storey made an apple pie and OHMYGOD was it good!

January 5:

Everyone is sick, no one wants to cook. Seriously, don’t we have any leftovers? Oh wow—I guess we have an abundance of leftovers!

January 6:

Teri came to Portland to interview for a residency slot at OHSU. She was only here one (very fast) overnight, but since it was 2 days before her 40th birthday, we HAD to celebrate with cheesecake!

January 7:

Mom started this hat shortly after Christmas with yarn that was a gift from Robin. This is the day she finished the hat (it’s inside-out in the photo—I told you it was hard to find stuff to picture every day).

January 8:

Nothing to report; no pictures to capture our day. This is Sam, taken through the water pitcher at dinner.

January 9:

Mom made cookies. (No, seriously. We have no lives!)

January 10:

Saturday—Emily received this puzzle (and a number of other gifts) in the mail from her step-great-grandmother, so we put it together, um, together. We got the border done, then I wouldn’t let her do any more until she took a bath and washed her hair. Bribery is such a wonderful parenting tool, don’t you think?

January 11:

Lily’s 2nd birthday party, a high-tea. Her mom and dad made this awesome cake. The whole day was lovely, but absolutely exhausting.

January 12:

Typical Monday evening. Nothing much to do. Storey’s playing on her computer in the living room.

January 13:

Now that she is 8, she gets to set the table sometimes. (I say “gets to” like it was a treat, thinking perhaps I’ll convince her that it’s FUN! Yay! But no, she knows my tricks. Damn.)

Are you sorry you asked? Was it worth the wait? Aren't our lives Utterly Riveting?!

Shut up.

I'll be back soon.

Yes I will.

YES I will, I said!

Geez. You non-believers.

Coming Home

2008-12-28T15:05:00.000-08:00

I'm not comfortable at the other blog. It feels too public and I find myself not writing.

Yes I know there as just as many readers over here, but this has been home for so many years. I suppose the explanation defies logic. I don't care and neither should you.

This being said, I have to head to the grocery store and the bank. I'm hoping that when I return tonight I'll have a chance to write the post(s) that have been clanking around in my head these last few weeks.

Belated Happy Solstice, Happy Hanukkah, and Merry Christmas (and anything else I may have missed) to those of my friends who celebrate the various winter holidays. To those of you who don't, I hope you're enjoying the winter nonetheless.

Be back soon.

xoxo

Moving

2008-09-29T14:30:00.000-07:00

For the time being, my blog posts may now be found at http://www.tattooedtits.blogspot.com/.

Stuff and Whatever

2008-09-24T15:21:00.000-07:00

Ok, so at work I sit near the City’s parking enforcement division. A few nights ago, I dreamed that I was wearing a meter reader uniform on Halloween but no one recognized it as a costume, they all thought I had started to work for that division. I kept saying, “No, guys—it’s a Costume!”, but no one believed me.

Speaking of work-related stuff, I asked my employer for a raise. Nothing exorbitant, just enough to live on. After almost 2 weeks, I heard back. They can’t do it. Umm… what?! So today I applied for five new jobs. I’m hoping that even more show up on my radar in the next couple weeks. I gotta get better pay than this PRONTO. It’s killing me!

Yesterday I did a major stupid. I left my full-length leather coat on the bus. This morning I called lost and found. It was turned in! I’m going to pick it up this afternoon. God I love Portland.

And in the best news of all, my daughter. She is a natural:

SOOOPER EXCITED!

2008-09-15T09:30:00.001-07:00

I have a dear friend who will be traveling from her home-state of Kansas to my old stomping grounds in San Francisco in early November. I couldn’t stand the thought of being this close without seeing each other, so I’m going to fly down the same day she’s flying in. We’re going to hang together for part of the weekend.

And for the rest of the weekend, I’m going to head slightly North to Sonoma County so I can hang out with all my other best girls (except Julie, Regan and Sloth. They are too far East this time).

Em heard me making plans on the phone last night and asked if she could come, too. I thought about it for all of 30 seconds before I realized she’d be going down less than 3 weeks later for Thanksgiving with her dad… and I also realized when she has very short trips to his house she doesn’t always get to see her Jessica (my old roomie—the one Em calls Nana). So I called Jess, made sure she was free, and now I’m going to bring Em with me so she can have 3 uninterrupted days and nights with her Nana.

Dude. You heard me. I’m SO Excited!

Is it Time for an Update, You Think?

2008-09-04T14:25:00.000-07:00

About 80% of the time, I feel about 90% better. The rest of the time, I only feel about 50% better though (clearly I have my moments). I’m no longer taking any pain meds—well, it has been 2 weeks as of tonight—but I think I might fill my Rx for sleeping pills. I’m still not sleeping well.

Of course, you wouldn’t know that if all you saw was me going to bed at 9:00 and not getting up until 14 hours later…

But yeah. I saw my doc on Tuesday and he said it’ll probably be another 3 or 4 weeks until I’m totally “normal” (which is SUCH a relative term!), but I’m going back to work this coming Monday. I must say, although I’m a little nervous about working a full day so soon, I’m very excited to go back to doing something productive. I miss my friends and I miss the paycheck even more. When I went into surgery, I was 10 days short to qualify for short-term disability, so I’ve gotten exactly NO money for these 2 ½ weeks off. Ouch.

Coupled with the fact that Emily’s dad has decided not to pay child support since June, we’re supremely broke right now. Like Hurtin’ Bad Broke. But school has started, so we’re confident that Jeff’s going to start being called to substitute soon, and once those phone calls come in, he makes very good money. It’s just the bad timing of appendicitis in the summer. But we don’t plan these things.

On the very plus side, even though Emily’s father’s choices are affecting us in a not very good way, his parents are being fabulous. I had to bite the bullet and call them on Tuesday for a loan so I could buy Emily some new school clothes and shoes… they gave me three times what I asked for AND they sent me a VERY generous Costco card. I don’t know what I’d have done without that help.

As for being productive, even though I occasionally have a hard time sitting up for more than 3 or 4 hours, I’ve done a bit of sewing this week. Nothing major. Some valances for one of the classrooms at school. Oh, did I mention that the school has moved to a new, larger building? By larger, I mean like about EIGHT times the size of the old building—and no I’m not exaggerating! There are now distinct “home rooms” for each age group (5-8ish, 8-ish to 11-ish, and 11-ish to graduation age), as well as office spaces for the Executive Director and the Core Volunteers, a computer/science room, a quiet room, a living room, and an ENORMOUS basement, which has a commercial kitchen, and separate dressing rooms and music rooms off the large stage. The middle room upstairs gets some afternoon glare, so we’re hoping the curtains help.

I’m also going to make an gigantic beanbag chair for the youngest room, but probably not until the weekend.

Oh, and we unearthed an extra microwave in our stash of things which we are going to clean up and give to the oldest room (which they refer to as the “teen lounge”).

Do I sound excited about the new school? Yeah, I really am. But nowhere NEAR as excited as the kids were! On Tuesday evening, we told the kids they needed to be ready to go to school at 8:00 Wednesday morning. Emily woke up at 5:00 telling me she was just WAY too excited to sleep, so I let her get up and get dressed. I’m not sure what time Kate’s kids were up, but I do know that by about 7:40, all three kids were in the car, with the engine running, waiting for us. Kate and I finished making our coffees and lunches before heading to the car, so they still had to wait until 8:00, but seriously, have you ever seen kids so flippin’ excited to go to school? And all the parents I spoke with yesterday said their kids were exactly the same way—pulling them out the door yelling, “Come ON Mom, we’re going to be late for the first day of school!”

Also (I think this is so cool), I was NOT the only mom who showed up at the school yesterday just to hang out during the first day. There were probably half a dozen of us at any one time hanging in the living room while our kids did their things, occasionally coming to touch base with us. At one point, a couple of the advisors came by with their guitars and we sang for about an hour or so, essentially giving an impromptu “performance” for folks who had never heard us sing. It was pretty awesome.

I love that place.

Today is lower key. For me, anyway. I didn’t go to school with them; I opted to sleep until 11:00. Then we went to Sears to buy a new VCR/DVD player (ours totally gave up the ghost the other night). I heart Sears and its credit-card goodness. Tonight, I’m going to watch a movie!

Right now though, I think I’m going to take a nap.

The Big Day

2008-08-28T14:00:00.000-07:00

Well, today’s the big day. Our friend Make Mine Mike is marrying his lovely Adelphia, our friend The Daily Randi.

Me? No, I’m not there. I was supposed to be there, but I hung out in this space for a while instead.

Not a good trade-off if you ask me… I’d rather be celebrating with my friends.

On the plus side, I had the last surgical bandage removed today. I’m down to band-aids.

Oops

2008-08-24T16:15:00.000-07:00

Sorry to be gone so long. I intended to post before the weekend, but then had my appendix taken out on Thursday evening (rather unexpectedly!).

I'm home now, as of about half an hour ago, but still feeling pretty loopy. I'll write more later.

Ugh

2008-08-15T09:10:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was 103* in Portland.

Today and tomorrow are supposed to be the same.

By Sunday, it'll Cool down to "only" 90*.

Gawd... I feel like I'm going to die. I hate hot weather.

Crafty!

2008-08-08T07:05:00.000-07:00

Ok folks, I'm so excited I could squeal! After months and months of applying, we are finally in for Crafty Wonderland.

If you're in the Portland area this Sunday, stop by and look for us.

And if you're not, then think good thoughts for us.

((Huge Grin))

Six Weeks

2008-08-05T13:15:00.000-07:00

That seems to be the point at which a bus rider is no longer considered a newbie. At least that’s the timing on the morning bus I take. I now get the “nod” and occasional smile and have been accepted as one of the Regulars, instead of just some poor schmuck stuck on the bus while his car is in the shop or something.

The afternoon bus is not the same. I don’t know why, but I almost never see the same people in the afternoons. Based on yesterday’s ride, I think that may be a good thing. For the first half of the trip, Farting Guy sat next to me. Every time we bounced, he would squeak out a fart. And he was STINKY! Phew! When he left, his seat was taken by an Andy Warhol wannabe. He was very aloof and very proud of his “look”. I suspect he thought he looked hip, but I just thought it made him look old and pathetic.

This morning, I saw two non-regular riders who looked so similar to each other I did a double take. They were both a little pudgy, medium height, with short light brown hair. Their chins and noses were alike and the way they carried themselves was the same. But one was wearing a shirt and tie (and young enough to look like he still gets excited at the idea of “suiting up” every morning), while the other was covered—and I mean COVERED—in tattoos. It was obvious from the way they interacted that they don’t know each other. I thought it was an odd juxtaposition.

So, do any of you remember when backpacks used to be the domain of College Students? I remember getting my first backpack in High School and being really ahead of the curve. Hardly anyone else had one and I used to get teased about it (but my hands were free—dorks). Now everyone has backpacks. Everyone! I see teeny little Kids with their miniature packs full of Toys, Students with their packs full of Books, Goths with their packs full of Red Bull and Black Eyeliner and Cigarettes, and Business People with their packs full of Very Important Things. It’s no longer a mark of distinction. But it’s so practical, I wonder why it took so long to become the norm?

Updated Again

2008-08-02T12:01:00.000-07:00

Well, last Thursday on Alberta was a bust. We only made $8.00. But Kate sold a BUNCH of stuff, so we have some milk money at least. Yay!

A number of people did take our business cards though, so that could be good. As a result I spent most of yesterday (after work) updating the inventory on our website.

It's still not complete (I hope it will be by the end of this weekend, but I have a ton of stuff still to photograph, load up, crop, price, etc.), but it's much fuller than before.

Give it a once-over and let me know if you see any typos, have any suggestions, or have any comments. Seriously, friends--I'm counting on your advice to make this a good site!

As always, we're at www.littlebirdshops.com.

Thanks & Happy Weekend!

Update on the Things and Stuff

2008-07-29T15:45:00.000-07:00

My sister's missing cat came home, safe and sound. Whew!

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I am not fond of perfumes or scents. I have spent the day wondering why most men's cologne smell vaguely like rat poison.

***********

A guy getting off the bus in front of mine this morning sort of tripped as he was getting out. He was coming out the back door instead of the front. It gave the illusion that the bus was animate and was physically ejecting this foreign body. It was kind of gross.

***********

Here is your Fabulous Quote For The Day:

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" (Mary Oliver)

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I'm going to go live mine. See y'all tomorrow!

Things and Stuff

2008-07-28T14:30:00.000-07:00

I recently discovered I’m allergic to both watermelon AND papaya. Big Summer-Bummer!

************

Emily dressed as a dragon for summer school today. God I love that!

************

I saw a middle-aged guy in a suit riding to work this morning. He was wearing tennis shoes and carrying his fancy black shoes. What was he riding you ask? Nope, not the bus. A skateboard! I love this weird town.

************

The bus this morning smelled vaguely of asparagus pee. I don’t want to think about that very much. Yeuch.

************

We are going to sell some stuff at Last Thursday on Alberta this week. Oh yes we are! We’re going to sell enough stuff to put a dent in next week’s grocery bill.

Kate’s bringing her crowns and her Kissy Monsters and her newest creations, pop up puppets.

Mom and I are bringing tons of kid summer dresses and skirts, and a handful of shorts- or pants-and-tops outfits (all of which are as-yet unphotographed).

If you’re near Portland on Thursday, head up to Alberta street and check us out. If you’re not near Portland, you can still buy our cool stuff! Same as always, we’re at littlebirdshops.com. (Stay tuned for a much expanded version in the next couple of weeks.)
************

Keep your fingers crossed that my little sister finds her runaway cat soon. She misses the wee beastie.

Giggled

2008-07-23T14:20:00.001-07:00

She giggled in her sleep the first night she was home. At 3:00 in the morning, she giggled in her sleep.

I made the right decision. No question about it.

**************
The busses are getting more crowded, I’ve noticed. I don’t think it’s going to ease up anytime soon either.

**************
This morning my coffee was bad. I mean, the coffee itself was fine I suppose, but the milk turned lumpy. I don’t know what happened. It was good when I poured it into the cup. Whatever. It’s been a weird day.

**************
I saw some pictures last night of my dad and Deborah in Italy and Greece earlier this month. It’s beautiful. And this morning I got some pictures from our Father’s Day camping trip. I love the photos but seeing them makes me sort of sad. I miss him very much and would like to spend much more time with him on a daily basis.

**************
I guess I’m out of stuff to say. I’ll write again soon, for the 3 of you who still read over here.

The Good Mother

2008-07-20T22:30:00.000-07:00

Em has been at her dad's place for almost 2 weeks. She spent the last 2 nights with her Nana (my old roommate). Those two nights were the ONLY two since she went to California that she hasn't called me in tears.

I don't just mean tears, I mean weeping, sobbing, can't-catch-her-breath crying.

My first reaction was to feel very bad for her, but when her dad would come in the room, she would magically sound better... I thought I was being played.

But when I spoke to her at Nana's, she didn't cry at all. She told me she missed me, but she giggled and joked the whole time we were on the phone. Her Nana made a point of telling me that she's SUPER homesick--we spoke this evening after Em had gone back to her dad's and she told me Em is just miserable...

So when Emily called me this evening, I couldn't let it continue.

It is my job as her mother to look after her emotional well being. I used the last of my savings to change our tickets so I can bring her home a week early.

I haven't even talked to her dad yet, and I know he's going to be upset (maybe even angry, I'm not sure). He can bring her down again this summer--it's only mid-July--just not for more than a week or so at a time. It's too much.

I guess she still is my baby.

Please think good thoughts. He's supposed to bring her to me at the airport around 3:30. Seriously. Put ALL your energy into getting her home with me on Monday.

Thanks.

41

2008-07-17T07:55:00.000-07:00

I am 41 years old today.

It doesn't feel much different than 31 or even 21, except that I have more education and life experience under my belt (and a bigger belt).

But when I look in the mirror, I can see the years. And it makes me wonder, "Where'd they go? Where'd this grey hair come from? What the fuck am I doing with my life?"

So I treated myself to a doughnut this morning at Starbucks. Shut up. I'm calling it my own mini birthday cake.

To Do:

2008-07-13T08:30:00.000-07:00

Finalize the pattern that was due on Friday; get it mailed out.

Download Boston pictures from camera to computer; crop, adjust color, etc.; upload to flickr.

Steal some of Julie's Boston pictures from flickr. (Oh wait... I can't do that because SHE hasn't uploaded them yet either!)

Write a decent blog post about Boston.

Steal some of my sister's pictures from the Oregon Country Fair (i.e.: Hippie Fest Central) from flickr.

Write a blog post about the Fair. (Awesome!)

Clean the kitchen.

Strip bed, wash sheets, re-make bed.

Go to Choir Practice from 1-4 today.

Update littlebird shops website.

Clean Emily's playroom.

Finish sewing 2 dresses for Susan.

Finish making sister's chair slipcover and cushions.

Finish recovering another customer's outdoor cushions.

Help paint the livingroom. Maybe.

Print this list of stuff, prioritize, then get to work!

Sorry Michael

2008-07-11T05:33:00.001-07:00

Didn't mean to make you wait so long!

Yet here I am, asking you to wait a little bit longer for pictures and Boston stories. The trip was fabulous. Not just because Boston is fabulous, but because I got to spend so much time with Julz and Sloth. (Hi guys!)

Our flights home Monday were delayed, so we didn't end up getting to sleep until after 1:00 our time (which put us past 4am east-coast time), which made Tuesday sort of blurry. Wednesday, I packed Em and sent her off to her dad's house for 3 weeks. Yesterday after work I came home and went to bed.

So you see, I haven't even uploaded my pictures yet. But I will. Yes, I promise I will!

Our Fair City

2008-07-01T09:35:00.000-07:00

On Saturday afternoon I went and had a pedicure with my mom, my sister, and my niece. We also got some various forms of waxings (I did my lower legs, mom did her upper lip, etc.). So we're ready for a hot vacation now!

And hot it is...

Mom, Em and I landed in Boston last night. I forget from time to time how humid it gets on the east coast. I suppose the lush greenery should have jogged my memory, alas it did not.

BUT--notwithstanding the humidity, it was evident from the first why Bostonians refer to their hometown as "Our Fair City". It is beautiful here.

Today we're going to try to figure out how to use the "T" so we can head off toward the Science Museum, andwhatever else strikes our fancies. Tomorrow around noon Julie arrives. At some point, we will hook up with Sloth. That's about the extent of our plans.

I'll write more posts if I can, but if I'm too busy having fun I'll write when we get home (next Monday).

YAY FOR BOSTON!!!

Game of Real Life

2008-06-28T09:10:00.000-07:00

Every Saturday and Sunday from March through December, Portland is host to the "Saturday Market", a fabulous display of arts, crafts, music, foods, and other fun things.

Shortly before Christmas, Kate bought a game there from one of the regular vendors. The game is called The Game of Real Life. I can't describe it to you--it must be experienced first hand--but I can give you a taste of it...

A couple of nights ago, Jeff and Robin were playing The Game of Real Life. Each player rolled the die for his health points, then rolled again for his social status. Jeff rolled a One (sickly) and another One (poor). He was bemoaning the fact that he was poor and sickly before the game even started, and then he rolled yet another One, landing on the first space of the game where he was aborted. Game Over. The end.

I laughed so hard I nearly peed myself.

The Game of Real Life is funny, realistic (to a point), irreverent, and Hilariously funny! I think you should all get a copy RIGHT NOW and start playing! (And no, I don't know the vendor or get a cut of his profit. I really just think it's wonderful & funny!)

http://www.gameofreallife.com/

In the Dark

2008-06-25T12:50:00.000-07:00

I usually set out my clothes the night before and get dressed in the dark.

Sometimes that means I don’t actually SEE myself or my clothes until I hit the bathroom at work… and sometimes that can be a full hour or two after I arrive.

Imagine my surprise this morning when I discovered that my underwear is full of chew holes. I wondered why it felt funny.

Stupid dog.

Rabbit Hole

2008-06-24T07:00:00.000-07:00

I love Google-Earth. Yesterday when I got off my bus, I saw an alley that looked like it might lead to my street, but I wasn't sure and my foot hurt so I decided not to explore.

Instead, I Google-Earthed it (bet you didn't know that was a verb, did you?) and discovered it DOES go through. So this morning, I used my new short-cut. And the alley isn't even dirty or covered in graffiti. Yay!

************
There's one stop on the bus line I take where about half a dozen people always disembark together and then they sort of disappear down a rabbit hole. Yesterday, I asked a fellow rider where they all go. She told me about a path under the freeway that leads to the waterfront where they catch a tram up to the hospital. Makes sense, but it still made me giggle this morning to see all those people disappear down the rabbit hole.

************
I have nothing new to report save those few thoughts. I hope your days are pleasant. Happy summer.

Food and Travel

2008-06-23T08:40:00.000-07:00

We had steak on the grill and corn on the cob for dinner last night. Then we had brownies with ice cream. Yummmmm.

As I was riding into work this morning, I realized that I live in the prettiest city on this continent. Yes sir, I think I do.

On Saturday, we earned almost $200.00 at our Hungry for Change bake sale for Obama. Not bad for a bake sale, hey?

Right now, I am totally in the mood for some Pad Thai with loads of peanut sauce on top. Mmmm. Or perhaps a nice chicken satay (again with the peanut sauce… it’s all about the peanut sauce).

I accidentally left my Starbucks card at home today. I think it’s in the back pocket of my jeans. Dang. That means I don’t get a free refill. Bummer. On the plus side though, I had some lovely oatmeal for breakfast. I love steel-milled oatmeal cooked with milk instead of water. It’s hearty, nutty, flavorful, and sticks to the ribs.

I think I must be hungry ‘cause I keep talking about food.

Wait, I know—I’m leaving one week from today. I’m going to BOSTON, where I will be an unashamed TOURIST and where I will spend hours and hours and hours with our very own EVIL JULIE and SLOTH!

Am I excited? Indeed I am! What makes you ask?!

BAKE SALE!

2008-06-20T12:50:00.000-07:00

Hey Friends,

This weekend, MoveOn.org has organized the World's Biggest Bake Sale--all of the money raised will go toward the Obama campaign.

If you are out and about this weekend, please come by one of the many locations (click here to search for one by zip code: http://www.moveon. org/).

If you're in or near Portland, my mom and I will be hosting one on Saturday from noon to about 3 in front of Guapo Comics and Coffee on SE Foster at 64th. Mmmm, homemade cookies and cupcakes...

If you can't make it tomorrow, there will be other booths throughout various other cities on both Saturday and Sunday.

And if you don't want to eat sweets but would like to lend your financial support, any of the volunteers will be happy to forward your money to the Man!

I hope to see some of you tomorrow.

Live Oak

2008-06-18T12:00:00.000-07:00

Emily and I just got home last night from the 20th annual Live Oak Music Festival in Santa Barbara county. We went there with my dad and his wife Deborah and met up with my younger sister Teri and my younger brother Ben.

It was wonderful. We haven't had that much fun together in a long time—honestly, I've NEVER had that much fun around Deborah. For the first time in 28 years, she totally let down her guard and I was surprised to find that she can be really funny.

Teri also has a dry, biting, sarcastic sense of humor, which is absolutely hilarious. When the two of them get into verbal sparring, the rest of us are reduced to fits of laughter. The kind where our stomachs hurt and our eyes water.

This is the first time, however, that I’ve gotten acknowledgement from them that they also see how difficult Teri can be; how easily offended she is and how it often feels like we’re being judged by her. It was reassuring to know that’s not just the Portland half of the family.

My dad is clearly getting older and the stroke affected him more than I realized. He has virtually no short-term memory, which is very frustrating after a while. Worse than a little kid because he's not willful, he's just completely unaware that he forgot to do what's been asked of him. We had to throw out half a gallon of milk because he forgot to put it away, though he was reminded about 4 times.

On Sunday morning, Teri told our dad 6 or 8 times that she was leaving that day—the last time, he said, “I know—You’ve told me already!”, at which point it turned into a joke where we would all mention Teri’s eminent departure every 10 minutes or so. But about 3 hours after she left, he asked where she was. I said, “She had to go home today.” He said, “Oh, wait. I thought you were leaving today.” I reminded him that Emily and I flew down and would be there until Tuesday. He remembered then, but it took a while. That sort of stuff makes me very sad and Deborah cries a lot, too. I can’t begin to imagine the stress of that day after day.

Despite that, he has a good sense of humor about his inability to remember shit. Yesterday morning, Emily crawled into his bed and told him that she wasn't moving for him or anyone. He took a fake boxer-stance with his fist raised and said, "Oh yeah, Kid? I'll remember that!", and when I said, "No you won't!", he completely cracked up.

I love hearing my dad laugh. I miss him.

Urban Decay

2008-06-10T07:40:00.000-07:00

I am a Metro-chick. I take the bus to work. I avoid staring at strangers while trying to overhear their conversations (except that one tweaker who talks on the phone too loud and WANTS you to hear what she's complaining about), I drink Starbucks. A lot of Starbucks.

Hello, Urban World. I am Urban Decay.

One day last week, there was a guy on the bus wearing a PUMA sweatshirt. He looked sort of puma-ish—broad chested, thick dark hair—until I looked down. From out of his shorts poked the skinniest, whitest bird legs I’ve ever seen. I thought to myself, “You are not Puma, you are Ostrich!”

Friday afternoon/evening the kids’ school had it’s year-end party. There was a jumpy house for the kids (and I swear, the teens loved it more than the wee ones!), there was loud music, there was food, and there were friends everywhere we turned. By the time we got home (8:30 or so), everyone was exhausted.

Remember in late April when a group of us got together to record a CD? On Sunday evening we reconvened for a listening party. Words fail me. The whole is better than the sum of its parts. I had goosebumps, I cried a couple of times, and then I got really drunk. It’ll be about 2 more months before the CDs have been pressed and packaged and are ready for sale, but now that I’ve had a taste, I know it’s worth the wait. Unbelievable that I’m part of something so wonderful!

Today I’ll have lunch with two of my favorite local knitters. We are wrapped in our coats and gloves and scarves as we celebrate friendship on another June-uary day in Portland.

God it’s dusty in here.

2008-06-02T12:45:00.000-07:00

We just moved from our building in SE Portland to the big, creepy building in downtown (*yes, Bobbie, this means we can have lunch together! But not on Tuesday. I already have plans on Tuesday).

The move has pretty much sucked up my at-work life for the last couple of weeks. Now that it’s over (except for the settling-in part), I’m back on the hunt for a full-time job, because as much as I like it here and as much as I enjoy working with these folks, it feels even more tenuous. The building is huge, the space is wide open. I feel exposed and vulnerable.

There’s been so much else happening in our lives lately. Loads of great things at home. Funny Emily-isms. Funny Storey-isms. Funny Robin-ish stories. The weather is turning slowly (more not-rainy days than rainy, but still enough rain that we know where we are); we’ve moved to our “outdoor dining room” for dinner every night and we’re cooking more on the grill. I’ve been very busy with sewing and I’ve had a couple more interviews. I would like to say I’ll blog more regularly, but I can’t promise that I will.

I have things to say about my dad. Thoughts about growing up and growing old. Thoughts about being single and about how hard it can be to make friends.

For now though, I’ll leave you with this: On Saturday morning, I got my hair cut into a short (cute) bob and dyed it red.

Yes, as a matter of fact, I do look fabulous! Thanks for asking.

And We’re Back in 3, 2, …

2008-05-20T08:15:00.000-07:00

Hi kids—welcome back! It’s a lovely, rainy 53* outside, my mom is home after 10 days in Arkansas, and all is right with the world.

It’s good to be back.

Ugh

2008-05-17T11:25:00.000-07:00

3 weeks ago, it was snowing. Yesterday it was 103*.

I think Mother Nature decided to skip spring in Portland this year.

I feel like I'm melting. Ugh.

Peanut Butter

2008-05-14T23:05:00.000-07:00

Em: What is peanut butter made of?

Me: Smooshed up peanuts.

Em: That's all?

Me: Yeah, usually. Sometimes a little bit of salt. What do you think smashed up cashews are called?

Em (in a dubious voice): Cashew butter?

Me: Yup. How about smashed up almonds?

Em (more confident): Almond butter.

Me: Yup! What about smashed up sesame seeds?

Em: Sesame Seed Butter!

Me: Nope. Tahini.

Em: Tahini? That's kinda fucked up, Mom.

I had a dream

2008-05-13T21:00:00.000-07:00

We were in a coffee shop, but it was more like a Cost Plus or a Pier 1. There was a distinct sense of powerlessness—like I knew I was treading on thin ice and I’d better step carefully. She, on the other hand, was absolutely in control (of herself, the situation, even the server). I stood from the table and began to wander around the vendor stands. I wanted to look at the rings, but I was nervous about how that would appear, so I looked at bracelets, necklaces, earrings, hairclips.

When I found her again, just a few steps behind me and to the right, she was sitting at a booth looking at rings. She looked up at me and made a comment about how lovely they were and wouldn’t I like to look with her.

Inanna came up behind me and thought, “Who is this?” I could have thought my answer back to her, but instead I turned to look at her over my shoulder and said out loud, “I’ve been in love with her since I was 16 years old. This is Karen.”

I can’t remember the rest. I woke up with a bittersweet feeling in my memories. I haven't been able to shake it for days.

2008-05-09T15:05:00.000-07:00

It’s been a heck of a week around here. Last Friday, I learned that my dad had a small stroke. It turns out it really was relatively minor (a clot to his left occipital artery). He has lost some peripheral vision on the left side, but this morning on the phone said it seems to be returning.

Teri took a few days off her studies to go be with him. On Thursday morning, she sent a letter to us; here is most of it:

So I wanted to let you guys know about dad. He's really getting better and better; not his vision, that's still the same. But he's adapting. It doesn't make it ok, but it makes it easier not to worry about him. He's forgetful, but I don't think that is an acute problem from the stroke. And if you push him on things, he pulls it together and remembers. It's partly that he doesn't pay attention very well (not new, as we all know).

We spent all day together on Wednesday, and he did great. He didn't run into anything all day, and we walked at the mission for a couple of hours. He didn't always know where we were, but we were on the lower loop* and weren't at risk of getting lost. He was totally comfortable, though, he knew that he could find his way if we did get lost.

He got a burst of sadness on Tuesday night, and started crying. It's about time. He's sad he can't fly, can't even ride his bike, and can't just go for a walk. He can't even do things like walk home from the office, because he's not safe crossing the street. That will change, as he gets used to looking to the left, and if he stays in the crosswalks. But not yet.
But for the most part, he was in a good mood, and active and we had a nice visit. He works, waters the plants, does his thing.

He's a little dangerous in the kitchen. He spills when he pours coffee (Deborah is doing a lot of cleaning up these days), but he didn't yesterday; and sometimes he turns on the wrong burner. Again, I think it's more vision than dementia, because if you point it out, he totally sees and understands it. It's frustrating for him, though.

He is afraid of becoming a burden. I told him he's nowhere near it. He seems a little sad and a little scared, but is being stoic. We had a nice visit. He is a test in patience, but it's pretty easy. It's like having a cat who pees on the floor, you don't mind it because you love him so much.**

Anyway, the upshot is I don't think you guys should worry about him, but be gentle with him. I do think he might be in the beginning of some dementia, and his memory will get worse as he gets older.

In the meantime, you can sneak food off his plate from the left side without his noticing (that's pretty fun). But we don't' sneak up on his left because that's just mean.

Sandra*** is amazing. He got really lucky there. She is totally there for him, whatever he needs, without ever complaining. She is on call all the time, as far as I can tell. Sometimes his work in Goleta goes until the evening, and she is fine with that (she has to drive him there and back). I told her how much we appreciated her.

*One of the California Missions is located in the town where my dad lives. He goes there regularly to hike the “loop” up behind the mission. It’s not very long (3 miles, I think), and perfect for an afternoon stroll. I’m so relieved that he can still walk the loop without fear of being lost.

**About 4 ½ years ago, Teri adopted a street cat who was on the verge of dying. She figured she'd give him a comfortable place to live until he died (guessing a few weeks). In fact, she never even named him--right up to the end, he was "Orange Cat” (mostly we called him “OC”). But he kept getting healthier and he kept living. We all gotten used to him being around. But about a month ago, he started peeing on the floors, and about 2 weeks ago he stopped eating mostly. The vet said he was in complete renal failure. Last week, he lost his very distinctive meow (the cat version of a whisky and cigarettes voice). By Wednesday, he couldn't even lift his head easily. She didn't want him to be hurting anymore, she's devastated, but she had him euthanized.

***Sandra has worked for my dad for years and years (more than 20, I think). She came in as a patient and was hired on the spot when she translated for my dad for another patient. Through all the other office assistants who have come and gone, Sandra has been the constant. Teri’s right—we all are SO lucky to have her in our lives. She goes to great lengths for my dad without question or complaint. That’s just so cool.

I don’t think I really have much more to write about just now. I hope you all have a nice weekend. I’ll be back with more/different/better news soon.

xoxo

It was a very hard decision

2008-05-07T06:40:00.000-07:00

blah, blah, blah... but they've offered the job to someone else.

I'm getting tired of being second.

Eureka!

2008-05-04T10:45:00.000-07:00

Robin’s birthday was in March—just a couple weeks after I began working again, so we didn’t have any spending money at the time. We cleaned up an old laptop computer that my little sister had donated to us a couple years ago and gave that to him. The only problem was that we didn’t know at the time how much that laptop sucked.

Fast forward to last weekend, I got tired of seeing the look of disappointment on his face. He wouldn’t complain about it outright, but he was crestfallen every time the computer failed to boot up properly or wouldn’t get online. So I went to Craigslist and found him a new (used) laptop. Less than $250.00.

When the guy came to deliver it, during the course of conversation he learned about the crappy one we were replacing. He took that one home with him, wiped the hard drive, re-installed all our programs, and brought it back on Friday this week. While dropping that one off, he asked if he could look into our wireless network (there’s more back story to this, but it’s boring).

The long and short of it is that we have—at long last—found ourselves a computer-fixer-dude. After one week and less than $400.00 total, we have two completely re-vamped laptops, a clean desktop, and a better wireless setup than ever before. All the computers run quickly, none ever fail to get online, and with six computers in the house now, the kids no longer have to fight each other for computer space.

Kate, on the other hand, still has to fight with Jeff for her screen time.

Waiting, waiting, waiting.

2008-04-29T11:55:00.001-07:00

I interviewed for a perfect job 2 weeks ago on Wednesday. At the time, they hadn’t decided on their next steps yet, but they knew they’d make a decision soon. They said they’d let me know by Friday, 2 days later, either way.

I got back from recording the CD and there was no email waiting for me, so I sent a note to the HR rep. She replied with an apology—they had narrowed the candidate field to three and I was one of the three, but the hiring manager had to go to corporate (which is in Europe, so not a quick turn-around trip). She said she’d let me know by the middle of next week.

I know it’s not even noon on Tuesday yet, but I’m crawling out of my skin with anxiety. I would like to know NOW if they’re going to hire me or not!

Keep thinking good thoughts. This job looks awesome.

The Good Bits

2008-04-26T10:50:00.000-07:00

Mom and I went to the coast last Thursday evening after choir practice. We explored the rental, chose our room, turned on the heat and settled in. Friday we read, knit, worked on patterns, listened to Pride and Prejudice on the TV, and generally tried to stay out of the way while Gavin, Ethan and Anton set up the recording equipment.

By 7:30 or so Friday evening, all but 2 members of the choir were there and we started to sing. No recording, but we can’t get together without making joyful noises. That’s just the way it goes.

On Saturday morning, some of us slept in and some of us got up early for a walk on the beach.

The morning started out lovely, but turned in the blink of an eye. Cold, loud hail. It was amazing to behold.

During the course of the weekend, we saw bits of sun, more bits of hail, mostly rain, and even the occasional snow flurry, and we recorded these ten songs:
Waterfall (don't know who wrote that, but we tweaked the words a little bit to make it more "school friendly")
Lookin' Out My Back Door (yes, the one by Credence)
Smile (written by one of Gav's BFFs; Awesome song!)
So Long (Don't know where this came from )
Everything's All Right (From Jesus Christ Superstar)
California (Tom Petty)
True That (also written by a friend of Gavin's. Don't know the history of this)
Waters of March (Umm, don't remember the author. Originally written and recorded in Spanish)
Traveling So Long (I think written by the same person who wrote True That)
Scared of Something (ZeFrank, the Internet phenomenon; fabulously fun to sing!)

We’re anticipating the CD will be through post production blah blah blah and ready to sell in about 2 months. So excited—I can’t wait!

One of the neatest things that happened over the course of the weekend was that whenever we had breaks, someone would invariably start humming or singing a song. And then someone else would pipe in from around the corner, and another voice or two from above in the loft, and maybe another few from out on the deck or something, until everyone was singing in full voice. Never in my life have I been with a group of people who were so Literally in-tune with each other. It was amazing. Even on the impromptu bits we sounded good!

(Funniest part of coming home: Up until about yesterday, the backs of my legs were bruised where I wrapped them around the chair for 2 straight days.)

When I went to the school Monday after I got back in town, one of the advisors who used to never be very present in my life but who is in the choir and was there for the weekend gave me a BIG hug.

Actually, there were lots of hugs during the weekend, too. I think the dynamics of our relationships have changed. In a good way.

In the car on the way home from the coast on Monday my mom and I talked about things we're willing to pare out of our lives so we can live less expensively so we can afford to travel more.

Yesterday was “Bring your child to work day” at the City offices. We didn’t get very much work done, but Emily had a fabulous time. She got to hang out with the daughter of another CA here (the girls are only a few months apart in age), she got to climb in and around a fire truck, a fire paramedic transport (like an ambulance), and a police car, and she got to pet a K-9 unit dog. He was beautiful and had HUGE feet!

At one point when I took Em to the bathroom, she looked at the dispenser on the wall and said, “Tampons, 50c. Hmm. Napkins, 50c. That’s dumb. Nobody eats in the bathroom!”

After work, I headed back to my new home-away-from-home: Choir Practice. The best part after this weekend is that we completely ROCKED at practice!

And after that, there was a school meeting where we discussed a number of important current issues—chief among them is the financial gap we’re facing after having lost a few kids. Scary. But I’m hopeful we can fill that gap and keep running a great institution for our kids. (If any of you want to donate funds to our adventure, email me. We’re a tax-deductible 501(c3) non-profit and I’ll love you forever!)

Other than feeling the need to sing new songs with my people and to have Em’s dad served with custody papers ASAP, there’s nothing much happening in my world. Sewing, knitting, writing patterns, looking for a job again. More on that later.

Have a great weekend. I’ll try to be more present next week.

Heading to the Coast

2008-04-17T15:40:00.000-07:00

See y'all Monday!

Busy Busy

2008-04-15T23:00:00.000-07:00

Lots going on.

Job interviews, recording a CD this weekend, volunteering for Obama's campaign, and all the usual stuff (laundry, kids, work, etc.).

I'm going to steal Julie's thunder and leave you with this great picture of her cat, Joe. She took this picture with her phone yesterday morning and titled it "JoeBama".

Did you say "Fantasy" or "Fantastic"?

2008-04-09T23:15:00.000-07:00

I just applied for five jobs in the same city, but not Portland.

Every one of them is in Dublin. Yeah, the one in Ireland.

Fantasy? Probably. But hey, you never know until you try...

I'm torn...

2008-04-08T14:15:00.000-07:00

On the one hand, I’m sorry that we live in such a litigious society—sorry that when a contractor says to a supervisor at a government institution, “My hands hurt”, the immediate response is “RUN TO ERGO!”. As a tax-payer, I’m sorry that it’s just that easy to get a whole new set-up (adjusting desk heights, buying wrist pads a new computer mouse, and even a new chair) for someone who may well only be at the job for another month. It has to be expensive, and someone has to pay for that.

But as a person with a legal background, I understand the importance of having ergonomically correct work-places, and I totally get how much LESS expensive it is to outfit a person for a month when compared to paying disability for potentially years.

And as the person with the sore hands, I have to say I am SO grateful that it’s just that easy. By tomorrow, I should be all set. Which is great, because my wrist has been killing me the last week or so.

Ouch.

Is It Summer Yet?

2008-03-27T21:10:00.000-07:00

Ok, first things first: I'm still in an uncertain and unsettled job, but at least for now I'm confident it'll last a few more months. The contracts team is moving to a building down-town and it's been passed down to my boss that I'm expected to be one of the six making the move. Yay! (And yes, Bobbie, this means we'll finally be able to meet up for lunch.)

Other than that, I've just been making summer plans. Summer fills up fast around here.

One weekend in April the free choir will be recording an album. I'm very excited and we're sounding quite good together.

On Father's day weekend, Emily and I are going to meet up with my dad and his wife for a 4 day camping trip in the Santa Barbara area in California. Yay!

Best yet, though, is that for about a week (late June to early July), my Mom, Emily and I are going to Boston--yeah, baby, we'll be in Boston over the 4th of July! A day or 2 after we arrive, Julz will be joining us, and it is our plan to suck up as much of the Sloth's free time as is humanly possible, catch the Boston Pops for July 4th, and soak in all sorts of history. The only thing that would make it perfect is if ESC could join us, but alas she's unable to just yet.

Still, I'm pretty excited about it.

And then of course I have a wedding to go to in So. Cal. this August--that should be loads of fun as well.

Man, I LOVE summertime!

Prosperity--for me, for the country

2008-03-21T14:00:00.000-07:00

Last night, as we moved toward the first day of Spring, a friend came over. All eight of us sat around the table together—the seven in our family plus our friend—while she performed a Prosperity spell for the household.

Now we wait. We don’t sit on our hands, but we also don’t get to obsess about being broke. Things will turn around. I'm not going to talk about it anymore.

********

This morning, my mom and I got up VERY early, caught a bus down-town, and got to see and hear Barack Obama.

When I went to bed last night, I was still a Hillary supporter.

Today—well, I’m not so sure anymore…

There were as many people behind us as there were in front of us.

The Coliseum was unbelievably crowded...

Barack was preceeded by Bill Richardson, who had some very kind things to say and then gave his formal endorsement to Barack's campaign.

Barack was in constant motion and completely in tune with his audience.

I think it's not an overstatement to say that Portland truly does love Barack Obama.

The man is eloquent, smart, not the least bit condescending, but not supercilious either, fair, just, honest, and—let’s be real—he’s easy on the ojos!

I think it might be true what they say: once you go Barack, you’ll never go back.

Daily

2008-03-18T17:15:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday at Free Choir (Freak Wire?), we opened with “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” and one of my friends in the group cried and cried as she sang. It reminds her, she said, of her old religion. It has such a beautiful message about the “later”, but the message about the “now” didn’t hold for her (she grew up a Jehovah’s Witness and is now a hippie-freak-mama with unknown religious affiliations).

I think it must have been the moon or something, because right after that a new song was introduced—“Everything’s All Right” from Jesus Christ Superstar. It’s a beautiful song, but like my friend above, no matter how far I may move away from the religion of my upbringing, it is my history and still informs a lot of my responses.

For those of you who are not (or have never been) Catholic and might not know it, we are in the last days of Lent right now. Last Thursday, we were creeping up on what I have always considered the beginning of the most holy week in the calendar—the week between Palm Sunday and Easter Sunday. The nutshell version of everything that makes us uniquely Catholic happened during THAT week. This is the meat of the religion.

So when I heard the words of Mary Magdalene singing, “Try not to get worried, try not to turn on to problems that upset you, oh, don’t you know everything’s all right, yes everything’s fine. And we want you to sleep well tonight, let the world turn without you tonight. If we try, we’ll get by, so forget all about us tonight” and I know that she’s singing those words on the night before her friend was beaten nearly to death then nailed to a cross to die, and I just can’t really keep myself together very well.

Here’s the stupid part: I cried second. After Annalise, but using the same excuse (“It reminds me of my old religion and there’s a part of me that still mourns that lost community”). No one would judge me. No one did judge me. But I still feel like I stepped on her moment.

Anyway… It’s a lovely song done in 5/8 time, which makes for some weird rhythms.

The next day, the school hosted a fund raising event at a local theater. The McMenamin brothers here in Oregon own a number of properties (http://www.mcmenamins.com)
(old school houses, old hotels, etc.) which they have turned into funky, eclectic, creative Hotels, Restaurants, and movie Theaters (for example, the Kennedy School was an elementary school in NE Portland a gazillion years ago—now it houses a spa, 2 restaurants, and a HUGE theater where instead of regular theater seats they have sofas and love seats. Oh yeah, and they serve food in the theater. Very cool).

Ok, so I digressed. Sorry. The fund raising thing was at a McMenamin Theater & Pub called the Bagdad. They donated the space to us and we hosted a handful of bands, some fabulous bubble blowing, a whole lot of face painting and playing, and a bunch of raffles. I won $10.00 to a local pizza place. Yay! (Of course, Kate, my mom and I each also donated a bunch of stuff to the raffle.) Um, what was my point there?

Oh , right. An excuse to show you a picture of my beautiful butterfly.

Saturday Emily went to a friend’s house and I spent the day baking cakes for Robin’s birthday (which was Monday, but he had a party on Sunday). At his request, we made him a black birthday cake. I failed to get photos. Sorry.

The fun part of the cake was the secret St. Patrick’s Day surprise the next day—the black frosting turned everyone’s poo green. Eeeeewwww. And also HAHAHAHAHAHA!

The kids who were at the party didn’t comment on it, but everyone at home did. I suspect they’re too embarrassed at their age to say anything. Still—we know, and that’s all that matters.

My blood glucose has been ridiculously weird lately. I’m tracking it very closely the next few days (as in taking a reading every 2 hours and charting ALL my food), then I’m going to see my doctor on Friday. I suspect that my morning-time medication is too much and I need to reduce it by some amount. That would be ok! We’ll see. But rest assured, friends, I’m not ignoring the problem. I know how important it is and I’m staying right on top of it.

Ummm… Last weekend while the party for Robin was raging on, I dropped my mom off at the local bookseller for a quick pick-up. I don’t want to know how much money she spent. She bought the last 8 books we were missing from a long series. It’s all Julie’s fault and I’m not sure I can ever forgive her. On the plus side, we now own the ENTIRE series to date. Yay!

Oh my gosh, I can’t believe I nearly forgot to show you the new dining room! Here’s the color when we moved in:

And here’s what it looks like now:

Just in case you need to see that better, here’s a different wall where you can see more of the gorgeous creamy color on the ceiling (thanks Jeff!), as well as the beautiful blue in the archway (that’s the same blue as in our kitchen).

Changing subject without a transition sentence isn’t so hard to do. I don’t know what they were going on about in High school…

I miss my dad a lot. More than I ever did before he almost died. I hope Emily and I are able to join him on a camping trip Father’s Day weekend. We’re working out the details of that plan. We’ll see.

And speaking of working out Plans, Julz and I are trying to figure out a trip to see Sloth sometime before July. It’ll probably happen, but we just started planning, so nothing firm on that yet.

I finished a dog sweater for my uncle’s wife’s dog. They live in Arkansas, so I’ve never met her or the dog. I only have measurements on a piece of paper. I’m very much hoping this fits the dog properly. When/if I get more pictures, I’ll share. Unless they suck, and then I won’t.

For now, this is all you get.

I’m also working on a bunny from this very cool book of knitted toys which I bought for my mom for Christmas but forgot about and misplaced and just found last weekend. Here’s the side view of the body, before stuffing:

(Pay no attention to what Regan says. She’s crazy.)

Other than that, I have only one more bit of knitting news… I’ve been hired to design a sweater for Knit Picks. Yay! When it’s published, you can be SURE I’ll brag all about it.

Two more thoughts, then I’ll let your eyes rest.

The school has been “spinning” a lot lately. Some people call it growing pains, some people feel that we’re working on defining ourselves. Whatever it is, all I know is that a lot of people aren’t wholly satisfied with the culture we have developed. Scott, the director of the school, has even talked about pulling his own son out next year. It feels a little like, “Well, it’s good enough for your kids, but not good enough for mine”, and I don’t like that.

Fortunately, my sister is there at the school all day long almost every day of the week. They’ve been able to talk about Scott’s real reasons for considering removing his son, and his real thoughts about the school culture. I really like Scott and I like that he’s sensitive to people’s emotional needs, but sometimes he just needs to step back and say NO. If the parents aren’t at the school and the kids are acting like monsters, I think the teachers should be empowered to (indeed, RESPONSIBLE to) say STOP IT! And I think Scott should do the same.

Last bit. I’m going to email my URL to my aunt Susan. After the car accident last August, I was sending her long letters full of pictures every few days, but since my dad got sick I haven’t done that. It occurred to me last night that she’d get essentially the same if she read my blog. I will ask her not to pass the URL on to any other family members, and I hope she will guard it, but there are already so many people reading here who weren’t invited that I find myself being more guarded that I intended to originally anyway. So I guess the point is what do you think? You, my readers and my friends. Do you mind sharing your space here with my family?

I'm rushing through my final thoughts because I have to go pick Emily up from a play date. I hope they're clear. I’ll try to write again soon.

2008-03-16T23:20:00.000-07:00

I have a post in my brain. It says an awful lot of stuff.

One evening this week I hope I find time to write it.

When I do, I'll have pictures, too.

It's like a bad re-run that just keeps playing on continuous loop...

2008-03-11T20:35:00.000-07:00

So here’s the news for today—when I was offered this position as a contractor to the City, it was working for the Bureau of Technology Services (BTS). Between the day I was offered the contract and the day I started working (about 10 days later), the city moved this particular division of contract administration from BTS to Bureau of Purchasing.

So no big deal. Everything’s going to be essentially the same, except that we’re supposed to move to one of the downtown offices in a month or two.

Except not.

Turns out it IS a big deal.

The CTO over Purchasing doesn’t think my position is necessary. He can’t fathom the importance of what I’m doing, blah, blah, blah.

He asked my boss to send him an email explaining what I do and why I need to be here. She did that on Friday, hoping to get an answer from him on whether or not I can stay here.

So far, no answer.

We’re hopeful that he’ll see the value and say that I can stay. Maybe then he’d just move me over to the new BTS offices and I can work out the remainder of my contract.

But more likely he’ll just say no and I’ll be unemployed again.

Oh—and the three positions she had approved for July? Yeah, those were from the BTS budget. Purchasing has withdrawn those positions.

I feel totally fucked.

'tis March, my friends

2008-03-09T16:00:00.000-07:00

So I started my new job on Monday. I got a taste of government employment from the very first day. There was no where for me to sit, no phone, and no computer. But the people are all super nice; very warm and welcoming, and they included me in their chit-chat conversations, which is SO nice after such a long time! I even like what I’m doing.

Oh, and my boss is totally laid back about hours. Want to come in at 7:30, take a short lunch and leave at 4:00? Sure. Want to come in at 8:00, take a long lunch and stay until 6:00? No problem. Whatever works for you, as long as the work gets done. Yay!

On Thursdays at the school we have Free Choir. That is, the choir is available to any member of the school community. There are no auditions, no “practices”, and no expectations. If you feel like showing up on Thursday and singing with the group, someone with a guitar will be there to play. I love Free Choir.*

(*Aside: When I was young, I went to church regularly. I had a crisis of faith and stopped going when I was in high school. The “crisis” was compounded by the fact that my priest also left the church at the same time. It’s tough enough to be a teen with all these questions, but to be a teen whose mentor has the same questions and whose mentor help you work through them with a different perspective… well, let’s just say I left the church. I never abandoned my relationship with god, but it’s remained intensely private since then. At various times in my adult life I have attempted to reach out to recapture that sense of community on a spiritual level. I’ve never found it. When I sing at Free Choir with the students, other parents, volunteers, and staff members, in among the notes and voices there is a sense of comfort. I had a mini-epiphany last week while we were singing “The Waters of March”. I realized that Free Choir is my spiritual community. Who would ever have guessed I’d find a public relationship with god in a school choir? Funny, but very cool.)

So, we have some parents who are students themselves. One of the moms at the school is in a graduate program, the details of which I don’t really know. But she’s working on a project for her class which involves creating advertisements and/or publicity. She’s using our school as her model so that when the homework portion is complete, the school can actually benefit from her work and USE this stuff in its own advertising. Pretty cool, huh?

All this is to explain that this past Thursday at Free Choir, we recorded ourselves. I don’t know if it was because we were a particularly small group or because we knew we were being recorded or what, but we were ON. I mean, we were smokin’ hot! We’ve never sounded so good or so cohesive as a group. I hope we can post the songs on our internet pages. As soon as I get copies, I’ll link them so you guys can hear us having so much fun. We recorded four songs which were written by various friends of the community members… we also recorded 3 more well-known songs, but because of copyright issues, we won’t be using them anywhere. They were just for fun.

Let’s see… after Free Choir, there was a Circle Meeting (that is, a meeting of any students, parents, volunteers, community member, staff, etc. who want to join in). We discussed school culture. It seems that one or two families are dissatisfied with the culture of our community, so they’ve made a HUGE deal about it which has culminated in a number of community Circle Meetings so we can “resolve the issues” (I think you can tell which side I’m on). Feh. I think people need to be a little more responsible for their own actions and issues. But what do I know.

Um, what else…

Oh, Emily has been teaching herself to type by touch using a Sponge Bob program on the internet. It’s inspiring to see her teach herself something in which she’s interested, and it’s cool to see how excited she becomes when she gets something right. I’m proud of her.

This weekend, I’m FINALLY finishing my room. Got the last bit painted (I’m waiting for it to dry right now) and will then move the furniture around and at long last put Em’s toys in their proper places. She’s SO excited about having her own play space! I’ll be sure to post pictures as soon as I can.

On that note, it might be another week before I post. I do apologize for the long delay, but by the time I get home and do all the necessary stuff, I’m tired and ready to sit. I’m sure it’ll get easier again, but it’s been 5 months since I’ve worked full-time and I’m just out of practice I think. ((grin))

Have a wonderful week.

APRIL FOO... What?!

2008-03-02T17:20:00.000-08:00

Kate and Storey went out yesterday morning to run errands in the pouring rain... about 20 minutes after they left, the phone rang.

With a frantic tone in her voice, Kate said, "We're on the freeway and my car just broke down!"

I said, "Oh, fuck. Seriously?"

She yelled, "APRIL FOOL'S!" and then laughed like a maniac until I pointed out to her that it was MARCH first, not April.

What a dork.

Awakening

2008-02-29T08:40:00.000-08:00

I awoke this morning with one very distinct thought:

I Do Not Like Banana Necco Wafers.

(But the thing is, I don't like ANY flavor of Necco wafers.)

I'm not sure if this is a hidden message, or I'm just going a little off.

Wha' Happened?

2008-02-26T09:20:00.000-08:00

Well, I interviewed for a job doing contracts, as usual. And as usual, the job was given to an attorney. Higher degree, same money. A fiscally sound decision for the company (in this case, the City), but still a bummer for me.

But... apparently the manager likes me. A lot. Go figure!

Right now, they're preparing for a major new software implementation. It's scheduled to be complete in July(ish). The City officials with "tha powah" have already approved three full-time regular jobs for after completion.

It wasn't a big stretch for the manager to convince the same officials that she needed a contractor to come help on the front end of this implementation--someone with contract knowledge.

They agreed, and voila, I have a job and am the presumptive candidate for one of the three positions in July. No guarantees, of course, but that's the primary reason she created this contractor position, so I'd be available and already "hers" come summertime.

Yay!

Yesterday was orientation. I have very good benefits and they all begin on Monday, March 3rd. (Double Yay!)

For the rest of this week, I'm going to work on house stuff, such as painting my bedroom, helping with the paint in the dining room, maybe even getting into the living room (doubtful but possible), sewing more spring clothes, giving another big update to our website, and hitting at least one matinee with my mom.

I probably won't be around much to write, but I'll be back soon with pictures of all the fabulous things I complete this week! (Ha!)

I Have a Job

2008-02-21T12:20:00.000-08:00

I start on Monday, March 3rd.

I'll tell you all about it. Later. Right now, I'm very busy (suddenly we have a LOT of things to finish before I start working again).

Back soon.

Thank you ALL for your prayers, wishes, candles, etc. It's greatly appreciated!

Hmph

2008-02-20T21:10:00.000-08:00

The interview yesterday went well, I thought. Or well-ish at least.

I didn't get any read off the boss. We spent a short 30 minutes together wherein I answered some canned questions and then she shuffled me off to her staff. I couldn't tell if she liked me or not.

But her three staff members and I met for over an hour. We talked and laughed and joked and shared stories like we were long lost pals who hadn't seen each other in months. It was, bar none, the best interview I've ever had; well, that piece of it was anyway.

This evening, the recruiter called me. The boss loved me (who knew?!). The staff loved me (yay!). She doesn't want to lose me as a candidate, but yeah--they've offered the job to an attorney instead.

FUCK.

There's another something in the wings with this. I'll know more Thursday afternoon. Until then, I'm not sure I want to talk about it.

Feh.

In the meantime, I've added 2 more pages to my website--one with non-clothing sewing projects (pillows, curtains, furniture covers, etc.), and one with an alterations pricelist.

What do you think? Any feedback?

Thx.

Again

2008-02-19T09:45:00.000-08:00

This is my six-hundredth and sixty-sixth post.

I don't know if that's creepy or auspicious or nothing at all.

But I have another interview today at 2:00.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Fingers Flying

2008-02-15T08:40:00.000-08:00

I'm rushing to make four single socks (as samples) by Monday. When I deliver them, I'll pick up yarn to make a baby sweater (also a sample) which is due March 1.

In my spare time, we're trying to finish the painting this weekend (my bedroom and the dining room), plus I have 2 formals to finish by Sunday.

Don't know how I got so busy, but it's nice. It helps keep my mind off the fact that we have no income.

Have a good weekend. If you hear of a job for me, send a note. Or go to our website and buy stuff--that works too! (Oh, speaking of the website, check back in a couple of days. I'm going to add more pages soon. Probably while the paint is drying.)

2008-02-13T22:25:00.000-08:00

Two days on the inhaler and already my cough is getting better.

My mom's birthday was yesterday. We didn't do much. A nice supper and a delicious white cake (with VERY pink frosting--which was kind of a mistake, but tasted good nonetheless).

I didn't get the job. I wanted it and I was a very close second choice. I asked the VP why she chose the other candidate over me and she said it was based on one issue only: The other person has published patterns already. That's it.

And while that makes me feel better on a logical level, it doesn't do anything for my bank account, and it still sucks emotionally.

On the plus side, they pay they were offering is approximately half of what I'm used to making. I'm not sure we could have lived on that little.

So, I'll just keep on trucking. One of these days I'll find something. I hope.

Cough Cough

2008-02-12T10:00:00.001-08:00

Still sick. Going back to the doctor today. Will update soon.

11:30 Update: Just back from seeing Doctor Dude. Turns out the pneumonia precipitated asthma. So now I'm on a steroid inhaler twice a day (with a second non-steroidal, fast-acting inhaler for emergencies) until the cough subsides. Might be a week, might be a month. Whatever. As long as I can start taking deep breaths again I'll be happy.

Wanna hear the best part? My doc knows I'm without insurance right now, so he found me samples instead of writing me an Rx that I'd have to pay for.

Cool, Dude; thanks!

Six Dozen

2008-02-07T23:05:00.000-08:00

What can I say? I had a craving. They're delicious.

My interview Wednesday was at 11:00 in the morning. I arrived about 10 minutes early and stayed with the VP until about 11:55.

You can't imagine my shock and surprise (and overwhelming excitement!) when she called me less than 24 hours later to ask me for a second interview next Wednesday.

Oh yeah, baby.

And then I got home from running some errands to find an email from the other woman who I spoke with on the phone yesterday afternoon. She's quite pleased with the "homework" I did last night and said she would be presenting me to the City today.

Keep everything crossed, candles burning, rosaries spinning. Whatever you do. We seem to be in the final stretch... I hope to have a job by the end of next week.

And in other, more fun news: We've updated our site again. More crowns and more kissy monsters. Come look! http://www.littlebirdshops.com/.

Lazy

2008-02-06T23:00:00.001-08:00

I'm too lazy to write out the whole thing about today, so here's a cut and paste (with a few minor modifications) of an email I sent to my friend Connie earlier this evening. Obviously there's more, but we'll get to that later. When I know more.

The message was entitled, "Meh", and reads as follows:

I’m not sure how the interview went.

I mean, the VP and I got along beautifully, and I think I have the gusto and energy and garment construction experience they’re looking for, but she made a point of letting me know that she has 3 more people to interview, some who have published patterns, blah, blah, blah.

So, yeah. I have no idea how it went.
Next week, when the owners are back from vacation, they’re going to help the VP narrow the field to 2 or 3 candidates for second interviews. Everyone else will get a “thanks, but no thanks” call. So either way, I’ll know early next week.

On the other hand, about an hour after I got home from this interview, I got a call from a head-hunter looking for a contract administrator for the City of Portland. :) We talked for a good long time and it looks like a pretty good fit. We’re taking next steps this week and next…

I told my mom you were doing a Novena to St. Joe’s–she actually blushed and mumbled something about having it “right here” and she should really start. I just laughed. I love my mom, but she has NO follow-through.

Anyway..., as soon as I hear from either side, I’ll let you know the outcome.

:)

Aimee

Look What I Just Finished

2008-02-05T10:40:00.000-08:00

A baby sweater made out of bamboo yarns. Mmmmm, soft and pretty.

And, even more exciting, an ear-flap hat for our friend Vince's lovely wife (so she can walk the dog without freezing her ears off). It's 100% washable wool. I love the colors!

And the designs!

I have an interview tomorrow at 11:00 Pacific time. It's a dream job. Keep your fingers crossed. ((grin))

2008-02-04T15:15:00.000-08:00

Well, I went to my doctor on Friday. That's right, without insurance I went to see my doctor. And he took an x-ray of my chest. I'm afraid of what that's going to cost, but at least they agreed to bill me instead of making me pay right then.

Turns out I have a full-blown pneumonia. So now I'm on the ass-kicking antibiotics. I awoke this morning actually FEELING BETTER! And then promptly fell asleep on the soft for an hour and a half.

However, lest you think I wasted the entire day, I also applied for my dream job today. I don't know if I'm qualified enough. I guess it depends on how many other people apply. But dang, it would be SO AWESOME to get paid to knit and make up designs and patterns. Woo Hoo!

Keep your fingers crossed. Or, you know, whatever it is you do. Finances are dire and I NEEEEED a job soon!

2008-01-30T13:30:00.000-08:00

I find myself disappointed (or maybe just saddened?) that Edwards has stepped down, although honestly I'm not surprised.

I hope the remaining two don't turn this into such a contentious race that it divides the Democrats. It would be in keeping with the party's history to have an election handed over on a silver platter only to have us fuck it up with our petty bickering.

On the plus side, however, if we do turn this into a train wreck, at least McCain is the Republican frontrunner. He's the least offensive of the bunch.

In other news, it's been very cold here. Lots of rain, occasional threats of snow (with little materialization this far down the valley floor), few opportunities to open the doors or windows. We're all sharing versions of the same virus and we're all ready for some fresh air.

I have walking pneumonia, which (thankfully) is not even in the same family as "regular" pneumonia. So while I feel horrid, at least I won't need to be rushed to the hospital. The antibiotics I'm getting today should help me feel better soon. I'm ready to lie down to sleep now; this chair-sleeping is making my neck hurt. Not to mention how bad my hair looks in the morning! ((grin))

There's a lot of turmoil right now. It has nothing to do with other people, it's all just stuff in my head and my heart. I'm trying to figure out some answers. I know a lot of people depend on me and I don't want to let them down, but it would be good (for me, at least) if I can find a way to satisfy those dependencies without betraying my own desires.

I predict lots of thinking and dreaming in the next few days.

And one of these days, when it is least expected, I WILL FINISH painting my bedroom!!!

Thanks for hanging with me, reader friends. I know my posts have been anxious, short, infrequent, and not altogether pleasant. I'm still the same person as ever, just a bit preoccupied.

Invisible

2008-01-28T09:55:00.001-08:00

Today I'm happy.

I don't see money today, just the same way Stephen Colbert doesn't see race.

So there ya go. Let's see how long it'll last.

((wink))

Whew!

2008-01-24T17:00:00.000-08:00

My mom just sold her car; now we can pay our mortgage for this month.

Not sure what we're going to do next week when February's bills start rolling in, but for now at least we're still afloat.

Whew.

Good Luck, and Don't Forget to Write if you Get Work

2008-01-22T12:25:00.000-08:00

Well, $500.00 later and the stove top has been replaced. We still don't have our mortgage money for January, but at least we can cook again.

I've been knitting and sewing lately, as usual. No job interviews yet, and we still don't know if we've been accepted into Crafty Wonderland for February, but we are hopeful...

If you'd like to see recent completed items, please check out our (newly updated!) website: www.littlebirdshops.com. (And check back often, 'cause I'm still posting more pictures and pages.)

Heck, if you see something you like, why don't you BUY IT?! (Or if you can't, at least do us the favor of telling EVERY SINGLE PERSON YOU KNOW about this site and our stuff. We need the business.)

Hope y'all had a lovely and peaceful MLK Day.

Suh.

2008-01-18T14:10:00.000-08:00

This week hasn't been so awesome.

Jeff accidentally stepped on the stove (stepping down from painting way up high):

Apparently Sam was left alone too long. He likes to chew. This is my sister's leather club chair:

Emily had the barfing flu for a couple of days, and now I'm sick. I'll spare you the pictures of that.

Next week, I'll be back with sunshine and daisies. Or roses. Or whatever. And pictures.

Have a good weekend.

Picture Catch Up

2008-01-07T00:50:00.000-08:00

I’m going to catch up on the last month or so in one fell swoop.

First, let me just say, I'm Over-Freaking-Joyed that school starts again tomorrow. These kids are B.O.R.E.D! In fact, they are so bored and so upset about the idea of a longer time off at summer that they've decided to talk to the school director about looking into making the school year-round. That would be cool.

Second, I'll ask you to be kind and recognize that it's late at night as I write this post and I'm having trouble remembering how to post pictures from my sister's flickr account to my posts. I actually don't think I can, so some of the pics below will be links instead of actual photographs. Click on them or not, it's up to you.

Now, are you ready for the rest of it? Ok, here we go.

Emily's birthday (the week before Christmas) ended up being a larger affair than anticipated. She had one of the little girls from across the street over to play. Whenever they play, if the girl comes here, her mom ends up running "just a few errands" and more often than not we end up including her for dinner. So of course that's what happened. We had also already invited our other across-the-street neighbor (and her daughter, of course), then her boyfriend and his daughter "happened by" as well. Whew! Full house—thank goodness we had plenty of birthday cake. Here's a Picture of Emily on her Birthday

A couple days later, there was the funniest version of the Nutcracker I've ever seen presented at the kids' school. For example, in one of the scenes (I think it was the part with the Russian dancers), instead of dancing, the kids played with hula hoops. I don't remember many other specifics, but it was hilarious and a ton of fun for everyone.

The next day, my younger sister Teri arrived early in the morning, so she was able to join us (everyone except my mom and Jeff) at the skating rink, which the school had rented for a couple hours that afternoon—no one but us; it was awesome. It turns out only Teri is the only one of us who can skate worth a shit Even Em isn’t a natural, which kind of surprised me because she's so balanced and agile usually, but once she took her skates off she had a blast running around the rink in her stocking feet and pulling people. Here she is with Teri, trying to get the hang of these wheeled feet.

The day after that, Saturday, Emily went to her dad's and I set up camp in the studio. I sewed more over that three day period than I had in the previous six months! But I'm thrilled to say I got ALL my Christmas sewing completed by Monday night. Yeah, yeah. Whatever. You’ve already seen most of those pictures, but here are the girls in their new pajamas (I know you haven't seen that yet): Em's PJs, Storey's Nightgown.

Christmas was small but wonderful. I’ve already written about it, but I’ll reiterate the best parts: No griping, no tears, no bemoaning things that weren't received, and as soon as we finished opening presents, we noticed that it was snowing. It only snowed for about 2 hours and it didn't stick on the ground, but it was so beautiful and such great timing! When we went out to exclaim, all our neighbors were out on their porches too, so everyone ended up yelling Merry Christmas to each other over the hedges and across the street. It was very cool. I love this neighborhood.

Unfortunately, Teri was mostly sick most of the time she was here, so we didn't do a whole lot of out-of-the-house stuff. She went home on the Friday following Christmas and Emily came back from her dad's the next day. New Year's Eve was supremely anti-climactic. I think we were all asleep by about 10:00. For the last few days, we've all been busy with picking up the remains of the holidays. Thursday night we took down the tree. Friday & Saturday we piddled around with other stuff, and today we finished packing up the last of the dishes. It happened, as always, in fits and starts, and then suddenly Christmas was gone. I’m ok with that; I'm ready to get back to real life.

I finished the Knit Picks sweater around Em's b-day and got it mailed off to them just before Christmas. I got my check in yesterday’s mail, so I’m that much closer to our January mortgage. Whew. (I can’t show you the whole thing, but I can give you this teaser.)

On Friday the 20th I got another email asking if I was interested in making a skirt for them, due the first week of February. Of course I jumped at it--it's just stockinette all the way down, and since it's done on circulars, that means I never have to purl. Yay!

I haven't been able to start it yet though. I got the yarn a number of days ago, but I'm still waiting for clarifications on the pattern from the designer. So in the mean time, I'm knitting baby hats. Lots and lots and lots of baby hats for a craft table we're setting up at "Crafty Wonderland" in February (http://www.craftywonderland.com/index.htm).

But that's just in the evenings. In the daytime, we’ve been moving furniture around in our house again and painting rooms. Here’s an example of what our kitchen looked like on Friday morning:

Ugly, huh?

By Saturday afternoon, that same wall looked like this:

THANKS KATE! (She's going to finish it this week.)

I’m working on the office and hope to have it completed by the end of the week. I’ll post before and after pictures of that when ready.

I'm still job hunting (duh), but there's not much out there for me right now. I'm applying to law school for this fall. I don’t know what I’ll do until then, but I’m not feeling all that worried yet.

So far, this year is shaping up nicely. Happy Monday!

Good Riddance

2007-12-31T20:00:00.000-08:00

I'm glad to see the tail end of 2007. I haven't liked this year very much. I hope 2008 is much, much better for us all.

Yay!

2007-12-29T15:15:00.000-08:00

Emily's coming home tonight.

I can't wait!

It's Snowing

2007-12-25T14:10:00.000-08:00

As predicted, and as usual, we woke up too early. My sisters and I were all up by about 6:15, but our mom, who has done this nearly 70 times already, still gets so excited that she was awake by 4:45. The kids got up shortly after 7, and we had to wake Jeff up about 8-ish. He's SO not one of us sometimes!

We start by drinking our coffees while checking out our stockings. Anything in the stocking is fair game, but we still tend to stop and watch each other. And now that we're adults and we help with the stockings, we're able to say things like, "Ooh, Teri--check the bottom of your stocking. I don't think you have everything out yet."

Afterward, we have breakfast, which was absolutely first class delicious! And then we open presents, one person at a time. We started doing that when we didn't have much money as a way to make the day last longer and it's become the standard. The first year I spent Christmas with my ex-husband and his family, I was appalled at the way they all ripped into packages at one time. No one got to see what anyone else got, there were no shared moments of, "Wow, that's beautiful!" or the like, and it was over in 15 minutes. Very anti-climactic and a complete downer for me.

So, as I was saying, we had a fabulous breakfast and settled in for presents. It's good we started our Christmas shopping in July, because not a lot was purchased after I lost my job in October, but we still managed to have a full, exciting, fantastic day.

And as soon as we were done with presents, someone opened the door to put the dogs out and shouted, "It's SNOWING!" Now, 2 hours later, it's still snowing. It's beautiful. It's just perfect.

(Click on the pictures to enlarge and see notes)

'Tis the Season

2007-12-24T07:35:00.000-08:00

Hey there friends,

My younger sister Teri arrived very early Friday morning.

My lovely daughter left for her dad's house on Saturday.

Yesterday, I finished all my sewing.

Today is Christmas eve. We have our family dinner tonight, and we will wrap presents throughout the day.

And tomorrow, we'll all get up too early, eat too much Chocolate, open too many presents (ok, not really!), and then take naps.

It will be perfect!

I hope yours is perfect, too.

xoxo

Check--Mini update with a few pictures

2007-12-20T08:45:00.000-08:00

Sewed shirt for Em's dad--Check
Sewed shirt for Em's dad's dad--Check
Knitted wrap for Em's dad's mom--Check

Knitted hat for BIL--Check

Knitted hat for niece--Check

Sewed jammies for niece--Check
Sewed jammies for daughter--Check
Sewed Christmas dress for daughter--Check

Sewed Christmas dress for daughter's doll--Check
Knitted sweater for Knit Picks catalogue--Check

Sew pants for mom--NOT done yet
Sew jacket for nephew--NOT done yet
Sew that thing for sister (not telling, 'cause she reads here)--NOT done yet.

4 days to Christmas. I only have a little left to do, but I'm going to need every hour of those days.

As soon as I can, I'll update this checklist with (MORE) pictures of completed projects.

See you later!

Lucky Number Seven

2007-12-18T08:10:00.000-08:00

Seven years ago today,

this world was graced

with the most beautiful little girl

I've ever met.

Happy Birthday, Little Bird!

Ha Ha, Ho Ho, Hee Hee, They're Coming to Take Me Away!

2007-12-14T12:20:00.000-08:00

Dudes, it's been crazy busy here at the Casa. Last week, as my dad was getting better and better, we went on longer errands and day trips. Monday, we went to Multnomah Falls together (oh my, how incredibly beautiful!), then on Tuesday he went home to California.

I'm glad he's able to get back to his life, even if it's abbreviated (he still has a long road of recovery ahead of him), and I'm also relieved to get back to my life, but I sure do miss having him around every day. The last few weeks, once he stopped hallucinating and could carry on a conversation, were like a gift. All this uninterrupted time with just me and my old man. I think we jumped our relationship to an entirely new place, and I think that's pretty cool.

So, since he's been gone, I've been sewing (jammies, dresses, shirts, etc.), knitting (hats, hats, more hats, and a sweater), and webpaging. Wait, is that a word? Oh shoot, just go see for yourself: http://www.littlebirdshops.com/.

Wonderful Conversation--In Pictures

2007-12-12T18:20:00.000-08:00

To see notes or to enlarge, click on the pictures:

Rain

2007-12-05T11:05:00.000-08:00

We're fine--not seriously affected by the rain and flooding, but our internet has been spottly the last few days.

I'll post more when I can.

Milk

2007-11-30T00:00:00.001-08:00

This represents a one week supply:

I really need to find a job.

The Real Tuesday

2007-11-29T09:45:00.000-08:00

My two favorite guys, taken on Tuesday afternoon:

I have nothing else to say right now.

Tuesday

2007-11-26T23:30:00.000-08:00

Last Monday, my dad was moved to rehab. Technically that means he was checked out of the hospital. When they checked him into rehab, he got a new patient number and everything. So he was officially no longer a patient as of a week ago today.

Tomorrow, he'll officially be no longer in inpatient rehab, either. He's coming home to my house and will be here (as a rehab outpatient) for two weeks. He'll have home-health-care workers coming by every so often, and then he'll go to his actual home.

This has been an exhausting experience and I'm ready to have it be over with. He'll be coming home one day short of the 5 week mark. He has lost about 20 pounds, and it is estimated the full recovery of his strength (if he ever does fully recover) will take approximately 3 days for each day he was in the hospital. That's about 15 weeks. So maybe by St. Patrick's Day.

But even if he's a skinny old weakling for the rest of his life, at least he's still alive.

Shameless Self Promotion

2007-11-18T23:50:00.000-08:00

I don’t think I’ve posted any pictures of my Knit Picks projects lately. I have nearly a years worth—I can’t believe I’ve been so neglectful!

Some time last spring, I was hired to make a pair of socks. The second pair I’ve ever completed (the first were a pair for Robin’s birthday a couple years ago). I love, love, love these socks, but I don’t like wearing heel flaps. Once I’m confident enough in my sock-altering abilities (that is, once I finally stumble upon the ultimate Aimee Sock Pattern), I would consider making these again. The design is so cool!

Here are some placemats I made this summer. Although I’d never made this project again (I don’t love them at all), I do love the yarn (CotLin) and would happily use it again in a heartbeat.

I also did a quick felting project. Fortunately for me, since I don’t actually know how to felt, the folks at Knit Picks asked if I would send it unfelted so they could take pictures of the process and make up a felting tutorial. You betcha! Cute little bracelet, don’t ya think?

Later this summer, they hired me to make a great hat. A real hat, with millinery wire and everything. It’s in the Holiday 2007 catalogue, for those of you who get that (the blue hat in the bottom left corner of page 19), but for some reason I can’t find it on their website—and wouldn’t you know I can’t get my scanner to work! Feh. Eventually I’ll have a picture to share.

Then in about August, if memory serves, I was commissioned to make three ginormous socks, the dimensions of which only made sense to me after I completed the first one. Kinda cute, huh?

And last but by no means least, I’m currently making a sweater. It’s a beautiful retro-inspired pattern with a fitted waist, a detachable belt, and a deep collar done in a modified moss stitch using their Swish Superwash. Oh.My.God. I am a convert. I HEART Swish and will most certainly use it again and again and again. I can’t show you the progress on that one because I’m not sure what the rules are about showing projects before they’re published. But when the catalogue is issued, I’ll be sure to share it then.

And that’s the Knit Picks round up. I have personal knitting happening, too, but most of it is for gifts or commissioned, so no pictures yet. (But hint-hint, friends! I'm still unemployed and will happily knit or sew for you!)

In the meantime, know that I’m thanking you all daily for your fabulous thoughts, etc. regarding my dad. He’s getting better every day. He can scoot himself up in bed now, can sit up and swing his legs off the edge of the bed without assistance, and even managed to move from the bed to the chair without help (though we did stand pretty close by just in case). He had his first really good night’s sleep last night and as a result had a pretty fantastic day today. Oh, and he’s finally eating again. It’s not that he hasn’t had an appetite, just that the effort of chewing was too exhausting. Baby, baby, baby steps, but we’re getting there. I can’t talk about the emotions surrounding this. I don’t know which ones to address or even acknowledge. I’m just glad he’s still alive.

With the holiday this week, there are going to be lots of extra people at the house. Not sure when I'll be able to post again. If I can't before Thursday, I hope all my American friends have a wonderful Thanksgiving. And all you non-Americans or ex-pats, have a good week in general.

Big love.

Talisman

2007-11-14T21:10:00.001-08:00

I’ve been carrying my dad’s watch in my pocket since the morning I picked it up off the dining room table right after the ambulance took him away.

I figured if it’s still running, he can’t be out of time.

Logic that defies logic, I know. But there ya go.

I’ve noticed that aside from the people in scrubs or the very pregnant women (and their nervous-looking partners), most people in hospitals seem to have an unkempt, sort of greyish pallor. Like they’re wearing their most comfortable clothes and unconcerned about their hair, or any aspect of their appearance in general. It’s kind of desperate and sad.

He has pneumonia again. Last time, it was apparently “just” a pneumonitis, now it’s a full-blown pneumonia. Feh. His left lung looks like complete crap on the x-ray (a total white-out), and his hematocrit is low. Really low. No one can figure out why. He got 2 units of blood today and that perked him right up, but even that is a relative term. He’s exhausted by the simplest things.

He can’t even go to the bathroom yet—we’re still on urinals and bedpans. When I asked, the doctor this morning said it would be at LEAST a week before he comes home. I’m thinking longer.

Tonight marks the 3 week point.

This is NOT how I envisioned spending a month with my dad.

Meme

2007-11-10T23:45:00.000-08:00

1. Name one person who made you laugh last night? My dad. It’s just so great to have him back (mostly) that we’re all kind of giddy and willing to laugh even at the most stupid jokes.

2. What were you doing at 0800? Sleeping. And at 0900, and even at 1000. I’ve been keeping odd hours these last couple weeks.

3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Watching Cool Hand Luke with my dad.

4. What happened to you in 2006? Most notably, we all moved to Portland.

5. What was the last thing you said out loud? See you in the morning. I love you. Call me tonight if you need me.

6. How many beverages did you have today? Coffee, water, coffee, water, iced tea, water, milk, water. How many is that?

7. What color is your hairbrush? Black and purple.

8. What was the last thing you paid for? Hospital food.

9. Where were you last night? ICU room 2, as is the norm these evenings.

10. What color is your front door? Greeeeeen.

11. Where do you keep your change? In a zipper compartment in my wallet.

12. What’s the weather like today? It was pretty nice today: crisp air, mostly blue skies, and just enough chill to need a light jacket.

13. What’s the best ice-cream flavor? Totally depends on the day. Right now, I’d have to say straight chocolate.

14. What excites you? Happiness.

15. Do you want to cut your hair? Not anymore. I just got about a gazillion inches cut off on Wednesday. It’s so cute!

16. Are you over the age of 25? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Shut up.

17. Do you talk a lot? Oh yes, all the time. And to the air if no one else will listen.

18. Do you watch the O.C.? Feh. No thanks.

19. Do you know anyone named Steven? Yup, and a couple Stephen’s as well.

20. Do you make up your own words? All the time. Ain’t it grand?!

21. Are you a jealous person? Jealous no, but envious sometimes.

22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘A’. Adrienne.

23. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘K’. Kate.

24. Who’s the first person on your received call list? Teri, my younger sister.

25. What does the last text message you received say? “How is he today” (from Teri, re: dad).

26. Do you chew on your straw? No.

27. Do you have curly hair? Ooh yes, and lots of it!

28. Where’s the next place you’re going to? To bed, then back to the hospital tomorrow.

29. Who’s the rudest person in your life? My dad’s wife. Not so much rude, per se, as tactless.

30. What was the last thing you ate? Hamburger and fries (shared with Emily).

31. Will you get married in the future? Seriously? I doubt it—I already got over that once. Whew!

32. What’s the best movie you’ve seen in the past 2 weeks? Cool Hand Luke. Such a classic!

33. Is there anyone you like right now? What an odd question. I like almost everyone in my world. And yes, that probably includes you.

34. When was the last time you did the dishes? The day before yesterday, but I think it’s my turn again tomorrow. Dang.

35. Are you currently depressed? No.

36. Did you cry today? Surprisingly no.

37. Why did you answer and post this? 'Cause Bobbie tagged me and I figured it was time for something a little more light hearted around here.

38. Tag 5 people who would do this survey. Er, um… I don’t like tagging. If you’re so inclined, grab it and go.

Duck, Duck, Goose

2007-11-07T14:50:00.000-08:00

I'm there all night. Deborah stays all day. He hasn't been extubated again yet, though the pneumonia is getting better. The original burns seem to be repaired and the emboli appear to be gone as well. Oh, and the surgery site on his belly is mostly healed (drains and staples all removed).

******
It is amazing to me how strong the body's urge is to remain diurnal. Even though it should be the middle of my "night", and even though I've been eating my meals at appropriately adjusted times, I awake around 1:00 every day with a shadow of a headache (need coffee) and a growling stomach (need food).

******
Yesterday, while he was pseudo-conscious, I told him his foot was hanging off the bed so he'd better be careful or he might goose his nurse.

His response: he wiggled his toes.

So yes, Michael, I did laugh out loud at that one.

To quote the politicians, we are "cautiously optomistic". I hate that phrase, but that's where we are.

Pneumonia

2007-11-04T15:30:00.000-08:00

I took the night shift last night. I was there from 1:00 in the afternoon until about 8:00 this morning.

At one point, I set the iPod to Grateful Dead and just let them go random. I sang China Cat Sunflower to him. When I sang Ripple, he opened one eye and looked at me, squeezed my hand, and fell back to sleep.

I miss my dad.